Amy and Angie just posted a blog and vlog respectively that spoke about the struggles they are having. I feel like they both put into words what I've been feeling. "I just have to care more". In all honesty I weigh 180 pounds. I am between a size 12-14. I can shop anywhere. That is working really well for me. I feel GREAT! Would I like to weigh 165, or 155 and be a size 8-10? Sure, but for now I feel great, which means I really have to care in order to work hard enough to continue to lose.
It's interesting. In my job, and the work I've done for the past 15 years, I am essentially a change agent. Helping organizations develop plans to enable change in their businesses. The number one rule for change to be successful is that there has to be a burning platform. There has to be a sense of urgency. Realistically, being a size 12-14 and 180 pounds does not present the same sense of urgency that being 283 (highest of 314) and a size 28 does.
Now it's about being better. Being thinner. Not the risk of diabetes. Not the risk of other weight related illnesses. Not the risk of rejection. Finding the motivation to be better when you already feel good...that takes work. That takes getting off the couch and into the gym. That takes sticking to an eating plan.
I joined Weight Watchers online on Monday. I really just wanted to have a sense of control (which the tracking on WW allows). Hilariously...I'm allowed 29 points. Day 1: 58. Ha! Turns out things like cashews = LOTS OF POINTS. Wine = 4 points for 5 ounces. What got me to 58 points? HONESTY. I literally tracked every single thing that went in my mouth. Talk about lying to yourself people. I remember saying to a friend the week prior, I ate 1200 calories today and gained a pound? How is that possible? Hmmm...maybe because I ate a bit more then 1200 calories?!? It's not until you're forced to track (e.g. held accountable) that you can truly see what you've put into your body.
You've come this far. If you decide to lose more than you'll lose more. Glad you are feeling so good.
ReplyDeleteYou have lost over 100 pounds! You will do this, what's the rush at this point? Just don't get too down on yourself. PS I think that tracking is going to help, great idea. The warmer weather should help us all if it ever gets here. Take care!
ReplyDeleteThat is really good about the WW tracking -- good for you! It's not the worst thing that you've had this break to give your skin some time to shrink before you go the rest of the way.
ReplyDeleteYou know what you've got to do -- get serious about working out. Once you do that, you will not even BELIEVE how good your body is going to look and how much easier it is to lose and keep the weight off. You are a motivated, determined person.. once you light the fire on this, there will be no holding you back. (And yes, you totally get a super hot fireman.) :)
Great post! I think you summed up what happens when you get within 20 lbs of goal beautifully. I found that when I get off track, logging my food wakes me up. Amazing how much thoughtless eating goes on when you're not REALLY paying attention.
ReplyDeleteI've been thinking about WW too - it's such a good way to live, and when I've done it I'm always reminded that every single bite counts. Every taste, ever M&M, everything.
ReplyDeleteGO Jenny GO!
I'm in this place too. I'm a size 12, I can shop whever, do any activity I want, sit in any movie/roller coaster/air plane seat. I'm now pretty normal. You are right, there's no urgency. I work well with urgency. The only way to really get the house clean is to throw a dinner party. So I'm glad that I have 3 major events coming up in the next 6 months. If anything it's motivation for a new dress!
ReplyDeleteYou can do it!
WW is a great step to keep you accountable. I totally agree with Catherine, exercise is the key to loosing and keeping it off. Is there a certain exercise that interests you? Find something you will love and can make a daily habit. You can do it! :)
ReplyDeleteYeah, caring helps. It's hard to keep that alive, though, like you said, because the motivators always change. Still, I think you have a great point in findng a reason and pushing through. Great blog!
ReplyDeleteSo, I love what you said. "Now it's about being better. Being thinner". But when I read it, this is what I read "Now it's about being better. NOT being thinner." And I am going to use that one for me. Because it really struck me. I need to focus on being better. Not thinner. BETTER. I like it. A lot.
ReplyDeleteI can't watch vlogs anymore at work. All I get is a white screen. And since I dont have internet at home, I cant watch them there either! This sucks.
I love you. Come live with me.
I'm in the same exact place mentally. Exact place. It's funny how a lot of us who were banded within that 6-8 month period back in 2009 are all kind of around that place. It's nice knowing that we can all lean on each other, but at the same time it's still frustrating as hell being here.
ReplyDeleteIt's funny...I was JUST talking to a co-worker about an hour ago how I kinda wanna join Weight Watchers online....hmmmmm....
xoxoxoxo
Love this post and love you even with that whole "Duke" thing!
ReplyDeleteI am so glad you are feeling good about yourself. I come and go on this subject for myself. Some days, I think I am fine this size and others I long to be "better" as you said. I think it will come to all of us in due time.
ReplyDeleteSeems like there's a slew of us who are at that "15-20 lbs. to goal point" and I'm one of them. I could've written this post except my loss of 70 lbs doesn't hold a candle to yours. What is the same is the point at which we find ourselves now. My burning platform was joining the gym and becoming part of the "fit"population. I did the first 70 with no exercise other than weekend walking but if I want to finish this race, I've faced that I need to change something...and now I have...and you will too if it is truly what you want. Join me cupcake.
ReplyDeleteJen...what time do you think the brunch will be on 3/20 in NYC???
ReplyDeleteLove this post....I love that you are at a place where it is about making a choice that you want to be thinner or feel better in your skinny jeans vs. being in a place where you have to lose weight or your health is at risk. It shows how far you've come and what you have accomplished and that it is still a journey...I know you can do it and will do it!!
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