- "I'm not blogging because my life is great and therefore I need not write about it but live it" = Hmmm...half truth.
- "I'm not blogging because I'm rocking this band, eating what I should and man, this is just easy peasy = Hmmm...TOTAL UNTRUTH
The deal is this. This is hard. Being in the real world with limited restriction is hard. Could I use a fill? Maybe a tiny one, but honestly I had .1 the last time and felt like my band was in a vice grip. I rocked the band for a year and a half. I ate small amounts of whatever I wanted, didn't exercise much and rocked it. Was it hard, sure. But not nearly as hard as I thought it would be. Actually, rephrase that, it was easy. Sure I got stuck every once in a while, but if I really think about it, it was the easiest experience I had ever had in losing weight.
Fast forward to now. I weigh 183 pounds. That is 8 pounds above my ticker. I know what I have to do. I need to exercise. I need to sweat. I need to eat smaller portions without my band telling me I'm full. I could eat for an hour and get down an entire portion if I wanted, but I need to teach myself to stop after 20 minutes. I need to really start working the band if I want to get to goal. Now is the hard part.
I bought a pair of size 12 skinny jeans before Chicago. They still fit, if i decide that I want a huge muffin top and not eat or drink. This sucks. I have clothes that I don't feel good in. This is why I want to get to goal. Not because I HAVE to weigh 165 pounds. Who cares? I honestly just want to feel good in my skinny jeans not fat in my skinny jeans.
So. Call me what you will...bandster gone bad. Bandster finally facing the real world. What matters to me is that I'm finally owning up to the fact that the really hard work begins now. A year and a half in. This may be where I need the most support yet! I'm ready and have a date with the treadmill tomorrow night!
You're human. I completely get how easy it is to just stop talking when things aren't going as well as we want them to. I, for one, completely appreciate you for coming out of the closet. It's real life and it's just not always easy and pretty. Sometimes there is a lot of hard work to get where we want to go. Thank you so much for keeping it real and honest.
ReplyDeleteHang in there my friend - at least you understand what the challenge is - as excited as I am about the baby, I am DREADING what awaits me afterward because guess what... the weight is less than before but needs to come off, and I have a LOT of work to do on that! And, I love that I know I can be honest when I start that this summer, and that you'll understand... xoxoxox
ReplyDeleteHang in there. Look at it this way, blogging it is the first step, and now you can move forward and beyond those size 12's! We're here, come join us! (((hugs)))
ReplyDeleteNo one said this would be the easy road. It certainly isn't for me. It does take hard work, mentally and physically. You know what to do. Good luck!
ReplyDeleteI think you have already done the hardest part: acknowledging where you went wrong and making a plan to change!
ReplyDeleteYou got this! :)
You are amazing. I'm right here with you. It's frustrating but we are going to make it work.
ReplyDeleteWelcome back! I've missed you.
ReplyDeleteSo, I had this long comment all written out and then it somehow freaking just disappeared. I got tears in my eyes while reading that cause I feel like I am in the exact same spot and it is so comforting to know that I'm not all alone. Everything has just been a struggle lately and I need to figure out how to get back on track now that things have gotten hard. I'm right there with you on admiting that at first it really was easy to get the weight off huh?! Miss you. xoxo
ReplyDeleteYou can do whatever you set your mind to.. GET IT GIRL ;) Love you
ReplyDeleteWelcome back, Jenny!! Thanks for your honesty. This isn't easy and there are always going to be times when we don't want to be model bandsters. Think of how far you have come and how little you gained before realizing you need to get back in check. That's what weight loss maintenance is all about. You weighed yourself. You checked yourself. You are being accountable. That is definitely a good start!!
ReplyDeleteDon't fret baby doll. This is a small hiccup that you will fix with the certainty with which you lost over 100 lbs.
ReplyDeleteHere's my advice...shake things up a bit.
Don't starve yourself but perhaps try doing the Atkins induction 2-week thing. If you lay off the carbs for that short amount of time, I bet you knock those 8 lbs off before the 2 weeks is over.
Love you so much.
Jenny: do not give up now!! So what that you've gained a couple of pounds-- you're back and you know you've been avoiding blogging b/c it is hard to face the truth.
ReplyDeleteBut you're facing it now and you CAN DO IT. You are not expected to be perfect, you're human for pete's sake!!!
Now, give yourself a break, remember just how far you've come and how many pounds you've lost and get back in there!!!
Make constructive goals-- how about post at least 1x per day. I find that having that accountability has been incredibly important... and you know you can do that (the posting.)
The rest will fall into place. Don't fall into an 'over-exercise' trap either. Be gentle, be moderate, and you will see this weight come back off and you WILL get to where you want to go.
I know it!!
Jen:
ReplyDeleteWhile we only met once, I felt that we both understood our stories. I know what you are going through and how hard this is. The weight seemed to fall off as if by magic (ok, magic and hard work) but now it seems like nothing works the same. Keep up the blogging and I think that will help. You know we are here to cheer you on.
I love ya Jenny. It happens, and ultimately these little gains are blips on our amazing journeys. You will get there. I wish you could come work out with me... WKND IN VT!!
ReplyDeleteQuestion. Has anyone looked at the possibility of food addiction? The band is a wonderful tool for weight loss. If you can't keep the weight off it might help to give a 12th step program a try. Such a program is a wonderful support system for keeping the weight from coming back on. Will power alone works for some. But it does not work for everyone. So do whatever works.
ReplyDeleteTotally miss you blogging all the time! To me these blogs are all about sharing the truth. We want to know what's really going on in your life. No need to always be a superstar.
ReplyDeleteNew reader, 2 years out from lapband. I could have written this same post. Just yesterday I had to go and buy a size bigger pants. I'm tired of stuffing myself into mine and just getting more depressed. So I went up a size, bought 2 pairs of work pants, and cried all the way home. Like you, I have plan, more exercise. Thanks for your honesty..
ReplyDeleteSo happy to hear you are back and yes, the blogging is a tool as well and keeps us "in it"! You have come this far, and you can keep on rockin it baby!
ReplyDeleteOh how this hits home. I'm working on the last 20 pounds and it is so much more work than the 160 pounds before them as asinine as that sounds. But you are right, the blogging and feedback does help. xoxo
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